Britt Maggs

Self-Love Habits

An Open Letter to My Single Self

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Dear Self,

You’ve been struggling hard lately.

Struggling with this loneliness that burns deeper than just being single. It’s not just a simple desire for a boyfriend, (which would make sense because LITERALLY everyone is getting hitched). It’s not needing someone to chat with or wanting your beauty reaffirmed, it’s just this aching.

You scroll through engagement photos, wedding pictures and couple pics captioned, “Seven months with this handsome man” or “I couldn’t ask for a better woman.” and your heart  just kind of snaps.

And you tried to write a blog post about how it’s okay to be single.

And you know it’s going to be okay, but some days it’s just hard to feel okay. That’s all you really want, to just feel alright.

And it’s okay to long for man, for a husband. Longing is not bad. But I know you wonder if you’re maybe starting to lose it because you find yourself noticing men everywhere. You are struck by the flannel and forearms and muscly hands and you wonder what it would be like to have someone hold your hand. What would it be like to have someone smile at you and look at you all struck, the way you look at Christmas trees and sunrises and raindrops on windshields.

Then you catch yourself thinking,

“WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME???”

And you’ve been beating yourself up and feeling like crap and throwing pity parties every night for not being enough. Feeling sorry for yourself that you’re that crazy single girl who hasn’t been chosen yet. Has never been chosen. Never been kissed, asked out, or even pursued at all. No one’s ever even had a crush on you.

Which honestly, is probably good for you because you know that you’re crazy and too passionate for your own good and you’re almost guaranteed to fall in love with the first guy that smiles at you.

But seriously

Girl, what makes you think a boyfriend is going to fix you? And who says you need a man before you can get your crap together and enjoy life? There are plenty of women who didn’t get married until their thirties and is this really how you want to potentially spend the next eight years?  (OR MORE…..)

You don’t even know what you’re future relationship might require of you. So don’t waste your time whining and living weakly.

Now is the time to live strong.

Stop grumbling and give thanks because you, girl, have been given grace.

And I know the hardest thing for you is that you don’t feel beautiful.

As if that’s the reason you don’t have a boyfriend,  because you’re carrying some extra weight.

If that’s the only reason those guys haven’t asked you out yet then first off, you don’t want a guy like that hanging out with you anyway.

Because yeah, we all want someone who is physically attractive and guys do too. But girl, you’re body is going to stretch and go through about a thousand changes before the end of your life and you want a guy who is going to make you feel beautiful through all of them.

And different sized women fit into different men’s hearts and every guy out there has a different taste.

And girl, you’re being ridiculous because you are beautiful.

Yeah you.

With your baseball caps and chapstick. You’re truck and your love for the mountains and rolling the windows down even when it’s 60 degrees because you LOVE fresh air. You, with your country music and dancing while doing dishes, your silly voices and the voice you have when you’re praying. The way you love and listen to people, and trust God with every season. You’re guitar playing and constant singing and you waking up at 2:00 a.m. to write down words that burn inside your heart. You girl, are beautiful.

And you are enough. You are enough for a man. You’re body is more than enough. You are always so worried about your body. Like that’s the thing that will never truly be up to par for him. Because they keep telling us that’s so important to guys. But the thing is girl, that the right guy will be in love with all of you, even your body.

He’ll adore the swing in your hips, the flash of your smile, your crazy curly hair, the rise of your chest and the fat in your middle, your thighs and quirky feet and your freckles and tiny fingers, why?

Because it’s you.

And he’ll be head over heels crazy about you.

All of you.

And he’ll love your for your body second. Because the first thing he’ll see when he looks at you is a woman who always greets him with a kiss. Who misses him the moment he leaves for work. A woman who is faithful and funny and forgives him when he can’t forgive himself. Who believes in him and cheers for him and who prays and loves him everyday with lights on and eyes full open to the glorious mess that he is. But who keeps choosing to love him with everything she can because she is head over heels crazy about him too.

And it’s okay to long for that.

To wait.

But it’s time to tuck that away and let it burn brightly in the background and not flame out in the front lines. Because that is someday, not today.

Stop wallowing.

Start worshiping.

Because what you have is today, yourself, friends and family and a God that loves you and this singleness it hurts right now yeah, but be present in the pain. Because believe it or not this is a season you will miss. And you keep looking after others and their love stories unfolding in a flash of fireworks and confetti and you wonder about your own. You look at yourself in the rear view mirror wondering what went wrong.

I think you know that THAT is not your story. You’ve always known you’re love story would not be one of love at first sight, starlight, and dancing laughter. Some stories take a little more time to unfold. Some stories have a few more plot twists. Sometimes love isn’t something that smacks you in the face. I think you know you’re the kind of girl that love has to find by sneaking up softly.

You’re time will come.

So take a chill pill and remember that you’re sexy and awesome and that God’s got plans for you, girl. Even if you can’t see ANY of them yet.

Love ya,

~Britt

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For the days when we forget to not worry: on hurry, grace, and the beautiful glass

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September was one of those months.

The kind  where I felt that cold cloud fall over me and I was too tired to climb up where the sun is.

And I’m sure I’m not the only one who has felt this way.

And I really hate writing posts that sound a little bit more like the journal entries of a whiny woman than a professional blog post.

But sometimes we need to drop the masks and just spill what is real, the mess that we are, becaus God is here. Yes, even HERE.

It was one of those months where I was running hard and crazy and people asked how I was doing and I would reply smiling with the knee-jerk response, “Good” as I walk away thinking, “How AM I doing??”

Sometime it seems like I rarely have time to feel anything. And the truth is I am probably a little scared to…



Because when I’m able to sit down and catch my breathe and listen to my heart beat what often feel is empty. 

This crazy woman here has been living too much like a humming bird, doing an awful lot of flapping and going nowhere fast. And that kind of living can make you run low real quick.

And there is only so much we can do

But the one thing we can always do is turn to him.

So this morning I snuck away to our back yard. Sometimes you just got to breathe in the air that’s outside to feel closer to God. I took my breakfast and my Bible out to where my mother has set up a little table with chairs and an umbrella and has hung a tinkling old wind chime above it all.



And my moms got a knack for carving beautiful spaces out of chaos. Grace in the midst of mess.

And this is hope.

This is meeting God right here in Autumn air in the middle of our back yard.

Because my soul may look like a mess and I feel like a stuttering apology of a person but God has still carved out spaces of beauty in my life.

And today was a day to remember that. While yes, this is a season of exams, essays, and late night shifts at work. Exhausted mornings and the constant reading and staying up until midnight to write a paper on the importance of the tank during World War I. Its a season where I don’t read my Bible every day and some days my only time alone with the Lord is in my truck on the way to the train stop.

But in the midst of all that are the tinkling wind chimes of beauty.

It’s a season of midnight ice cream runs with siblings and whipped cream melted all over my sisters arm and my truck and us laughing. Of praying with friends right out in public because their hearts been clean ripped out and smashed. Of girls nights out where you didn’t realize the place you had planned for dinner was so fancy it required reservations and you walk out laughing. A season of being woken up every morning by a brothers French horn practice. Coming home to the smell of my dad making pasties and getting to talk about everything with my mom. It’s a time of Zumba dancing with my girls, deep life talks under my favorite tree on campus, and doing homework at noodles and company because we like how it smells so good.

And some days, as much as I can’t wait for it to be over, I realize I’m going to miss ALL of this more than anything. I know I’ll miss the good old days when the biggest thing I was stressed about were exams and paying for gas.

I’ve been a fool. Trying to take everything into my control and be everything to everybody. I forget that hurry makes me hurt.

And we can’t run with the worries of this world and also walk alongside our God.

So I’m taking a step back from busy. I’m giving thanks and saying no to people more and trusting God with more of my steps.

If you feel yourself being suffocated by your to-do list, take some time, even for five minutes, to just sit and breathe and notice all the small graces of this world. Our God gives us so much and we often miss it because we are stressed and scared and think we don’t have time.

But at the end of your life you will have wished you’d rolled the windows down and blasted the radio more often.  So take some time to smile, eat dessert, and give thanks for all of it. They say there are two types of people in the world, those who see the glass as half empty or half full. What if we could be the third kind of people? People that simply see the glass a gift that’s beautiful.

“Promise me

you will not spend

so much time

treading water

and trying to keep your

head above the waves that your forget,

truly forget,

how much you have

always loved

to swim.”

Tyler Knott Gregson

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Tips On Figuring Out College as a Freshman

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The Summer has passed so quickly and here I am starting school once again for the LAST TIME. I can’t believe this will be my last Fall in school but I love it all the more. For all the young women out there starting college fresh for the first time, I want you to know that I’ve seen you on campus. You are not alone and I wish I could run up and be friends with all of you. Remember that it’s okay to feel a little lost and mostly dizzy! Don’t worry, girl, this post is for you.

Starting college feels a lot like a road trip. You’re excited and looking forward to the journey and all the new things…but you’re also kind of nervous because really you don’t know what will happen.

What if you don’t make friends? What if you fail a class? What if you hate your roommate? Where will you work? Will you gain that freshman fifteen? What if you meet your future husband? Will you get married in the middle of college? What will you major in? Will you stick with it? Will you find a job once you graduate? What do you believe about faith and where do you stand on the hard topics? What if people judge you for that?

And these are just the BIG questions spinning around in your head. (Because we’re all still trying to find our class rooms and decide if it’s socially acceptable to wear ugg boots yet.)

So girl, while the world is spinning crazy, here are some snatches of advice to cling to as you start off these years of college:

  1. This will save you more than once in college. During that final exam or that first date just remember to inhale grace and exhale peace. It will be okay. Just breathe.
  1. Everyone is Scared. When I first stepped onto campus it felt like everyone was so confidant and they all had their group of friends and I just assumed no one wanted to be friends with me. I was wanting SO BADLY for someone to make that first move and be my friend. I realized in the first few weeks that most people felt this way. Everybody likes being pursued and the majority of people are waiting on someone else to introduce themselves and be friendly. BE THAT AWESOME PERSON! I don’t know anyone who isn’t looking for more friends and real relationships. Everyone’s scared, be that awesome person for them that’s not.
  1. Take a TON of pictures. Whether it’s pictures of your cute desk, raindrops on windows or coffee with a friend, take a quick snapshot. You don’t have to post your pics all over social media but there is something great about looking back through them later. Don’t be afraid to print them out and hang up your favorites too!
  1. Get plugged in somewhere. Some of the best advice I ever got was to join a student club. You will make friends and meet amazing people and it will help your campus not feel so huge. Either get connected with a sorority or join a club that interests you. Check out the drama club or join the ultimate Frisbee team. Most likely there is SOMETHING you’d have fun getting involved in. So go sign up and join!
  1. It’s okay, and actually GOOD, to have a budget. It will be easy to feel like you need to keep up with everyone else in college. You will want to get the latest clothes and go out to dinner and coffee all the time. You’ll want to join everyone at concerts and amusement parks but in reality, you can’t afford to do EVERYTHING. (Unless you’re like uber rich. Hey, maybe you are. I don’t know your life.) You need to decide what’s actually important TO YOU. And what is going to add the most value to your life and either pass on the rest or find a cheaper way to participate. (Like stick with getting a $1.50 cup of tea instead of a $3.50 hot chocolate and a $5.65 sandwhich with a $4.30 piece of pumpkin bread for dessert.)
  1. Find yourself a guide. Find yourself an upper classman or even an older woman that you look up to, trust, and admire. Offer to take them out for coffee and ask questions, pick their brain, I’m sure they’d love to sit down and talk with you. They won’t have all the answers but you will learn SO MUCH and grow a ton through these relationships. Also, don’t forget that YOU could very soon be this person for someone else.
  1. Do things that scare you. Go water skiing, run a marathon, learn how to swing dance, sign up for that challenging class, say “Hi” to the cute guy, make friends that are different from you, get involved with the international students, run for Student Government, change your major or quit the job you hate. Don’t just do scary or uncomfortable things for the heck of it but if there is something you feel pulling your heart and your brain has just been too scared. JUST DO IT! If you want to really grow, you’ll have to step outside your comfort zone. It’s hard but so worth it.
  1. Make your faith your own. There is no one breathing down your neck in college. No one telling you what to believe or making you go to church. It’s just you and God starting fresh in a new place and there will be so many voices telling you what’s right and maybe you’re not even sure what you believe. If that’s the case ask questions, visit churches, do research, find a Christian Group on campus, read books, and ask even harder questions. You’ve probably heard “College will change your heart and you might lose your faith!” College doesn’t change your heart, it just reveals it. And YOU are the one who decides what you will do once you see where your hearts at. You decide what you believe. But if you want to grow strong in your faith then a) find a close Christian community because trust me, girl, you’re going to need it. And b) pull close to God. Dive into the word for yourself, close the curtains and dance to some worship music, go on longs walks, curl up in bed with your journal and headphones, tell Him everything and LISTEN. Listen to His heart and how crazy loved you are and to all the whispers of awesome plans He has for you.
  1. Stop assuming you will marry every guy you meet. I know, we all want romance and a bunch of us have hormones all dressed up with no place to go. But trust me, your college life will be so blessed if you stop thinking of every guy as a potential mate. First off, guys are so much more than a hunk of meat to feed your emotional lusts. They are actual people! By looking at them as brothers you will actually find some great friends that you probably would have passed over if you had been analyzing them through your husband goggles. You will also feel so free to just be yourself. When you aren’t trying to impress anyone you aren’t worried about them seeing you in a “romantic” way. You end up being more confidant and open and mostly more yourself. Which hey ladies, is so much more attractive than trying to be something you THINK guys like. Just be yourself, rock what you got, and listen and learn from the men in your life. They’re actually pretty insightful.
  1. Make laughter your coffee. They say college students bleed caffeine. Well they do. But I say make laughter the thing you bleed. Watch funny You Tube videos, go to comedy shows, make inside jokes with your roommate, laugh to yourself over random snatches of conversations, play Apples to Apples, post something clever on your friend’s Facebook wall, grab some friends and watch New Girl together and just LAUGH YOUR MAKEUP OFF! There is something about laughter that breaks down walls and builds us up. So laugh hard and laugh often

 There will be hard parts and sad parts and I’m sure your heart is going to swell and sink about 1,000 times over these next four years. Just remember that you are always loved. And even though there will always be hard and crazy things, there is also always so much good. Always.



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