The Summer has passed so quickly and here I am starting school once again for the LAST TIME. I can’t believe this will be my last Fall in school but I love it all the more. For all the young women out there starting college fresh for the first time, I want you to know that I’ve seen you on campus. You are not alone and I wish I could run up and be friends with all of you. Remember that it’s okay to feel a little lost and mostly dizzy! Don’t worry, girl, this post is for you.
Starting college feels a lot like a road trip. You’re excited and looking forward to the journey and all the new things…but you’re also kind of nervous because really you don’t know what will happen.
What if you don’t make friends? What if you fail a class? What if you hate your roommate? Where will you work? Will you gain that freshman fifteen? What if you meet your future husband? Will you get married in the middle of college? What will you major in? Will you stick with it? Will you find a job once you graduate? What do you believe about faith and where do you stand on the hard topics? What if people judge you for that?
And these are just the BIG questions spinning around in your head. (Because we’re all still trying to find our class rooms and decide if it’s socially acceptable to wear ugg boots yet.)
So girl, while the world is spinning crazy, here are some snatches of advice to cling to as you start off these years of college:
- This will save you more than once in college. During that final exam or that first date just remember to inhale grace and exhale peace. It will be okay. Just breathe.
- Everyone is Scared. When I first stepped onto campus it felt like everyone was so confidant and they all had their group of friends and I just assumed no one wanted to be friends with me. I was wanting SO BADLY for someone to make that first move and be my friend. I realized in the first few weeks that most people felt this way. Everybody likes being pursued and the majority of people are waiting on someone else to introduce themselves and be friendly. BE THAT AWESOME PERSON! I don’t know anyone who isn’t looking for more friends and real relationships. Everyone’s scared, be that awesome person for them that’s not.
- Take a TON of pictures. Whether it’s pictures of your cute desk, raindrops on windows or coffee with a friend, take a quick snapshot. You don’t have to post your pics all over social media but there is something great about looking back through them later. Don’t be afraid to print them out and hang up your favorites too!
- Get plugged in somewhere. Some of the best advice I ever got was to join a student club. You will make friends and meet amazing people and it will help your campus not feel so huge. Either get connected with a sorority or join a club that interests you. Check out the drama club or join the ultimate Frisbee team. Most likely there is SOMETHING you’d have fun getting involved in. So go sign up and join!
- It’s okay, and actually GOOD, to have a budget. It will be easy to feel like you need to keep up with everyone else in college. You will want to get the latest clothes and go out to dinner and coffee all the time. You’ll want to join everyone at concerts and amusement parks but in reality, you can’t afford to do EVERYTHING. (Unless you’re like uber rich. Hey, maybe you are. I don’t know your life.) You need to decide what’s actually important TO YOU. And what is going to add the most value to your life and either pass on the rest or find a cheaper way to participate. (Like stick with getting a $1.50 cup of tea instead of a $3.50 hot chocolate and a $5.65 sandwhich with a $4.30 piece of pumpkin bread for dessert.)
- Find yourself a guide. Find yourself an upper classman or even an older woman that you look up to, trust, and admire. Offer to take them out for coffee and ask questions, pick their brain, I’m sure they’d love to sit down and talk with you. They won’t have all the answers but you will learn SO MUCH and grow a ton through these relationships. Also, don’t forget that YOU could very soon be this person for someone else.
- Do things that scare you. Go water skiing, run a marathon, learn how to swing dance, sign up for that challenging class, say “Hi” to the cute guy, make friends that are different from you, get involved with the international students, run for Student Government, change your major or quit the job you hate. Don’t just do scary or uncomfortable things for the heck of it but if there is something you feel pulling your heart and your brain has just been too scared. JUST DO IT! If you want to really grow, you’ll have to step outside your comfort zone. It’s hard but so worth it.
- Make your faith your own. There is no one breathing down your neck in college. No one telling you what to believe or making you go to church. It’s just you and God starting fresh in a new place and there will be so many voices telling you what’s right and maybe you’re not even sure what you believe. If that’s the case ask questions, visit churches, do research, find a Christian Group on campus, read books, and ask even harder questions. You’ve probably heard “College will change your heart and you might lose your faith!” College doesn’t change your heart, it just reveals it. And YOU are the one who decides what you will do once you see where your hearts at. You decide what you believe. But if you want to grow strong in your faith then a) find a close Christian community because trust me, girl, you’re going to need it. And b) pull close to God. Dive into the word for yourself, close the curtains and dance to some worship music, go on longs walks, curl up in bed with your journal and headphones, tell Him everything and LISTEN. Listen to His heart and how crazy loved you are and to all the whispers of awesome plans He has for you.
- Stop assuming you will marry every guy you meet. I know, we all want romance and a bunch of us have hormones all dressed up with no place to go. But trust me, your college life will be so blessed if you stop thinking of every guy as a potential mate. First off, guys are so much more than a hunk of meat to feed your emotional lusts. They are actual people! By looking at them as brothers you will actually find some great friends that you probably would have passed over if you had been analyzing them through your husband goggles. You will also feel so free to just be yourself. When you aren’t trying to impress anyone you aren’t worried about them seeing you in a “romantic” way. You end up being more confidant and open and mostly more yourself. Which hey ladies, is so much more attractive than trying to be something you THINK guys like. Just be yourself, rock what you got, and listen and learn from the men in your life. They’re actually pretty insightful.
- Make laughter your coffee. They say college students bleed caffeine. Well they do. But I say make laughter the thing you bleed. Watch funny You Tube videos, go to comedy shows, make inside jokes with your roommate, laugh to yourself over random snatches of conversations, play Apples to Apples, post something clever on your friend’s Facebook wall, grab some friends and watch New Girl together and just LAUGH YOUR MAKEUP OFF! There is something about laughter that breaks down walls and builds us up. So laugh hard and laugh often
There will be hard parts and sad parts and I’m sure your heart is going to swell and sink about 1,000 times over these next four years. Just remember that you are always loved. And even though there will always be hard and crazy things, there is also always so much good. Always.