I am someone who loves Winter, the cold, and Christmas. I love cloudy cold weather, not because I like the ACTUAL feeling of freezing but because I LOVE getting to be cozy (and that just doesn’t happen in the happy summer sunshine in the same way). So below is my guide to getting cozy this winter, even if you don’t live in a snowy place, there are so universal truths to creating a cozy and warm place.

LIGHTING

I feel like this is the most important element when it comes to creating a cozy vibe in your home. You need a mixture of lighting so that you can turn things to a yellow/warm tone when evening hits or on a dark snowy day. I also advise having twinkle lights of some sort in every room ALL year long. Christmas is especially nice because the tree has lights as well but there is something so comforting, pretty, and cozy about having a glow from tiny little lights. I have icicle lights hanging in our living room, twinkle lights in our bedroom, and we got little solar-powered jars with twinkle lights in them that we leave all around the house in the evening. All of that in addition to our gamer LED lights. I also think flames specifically add a nice element whether that’s candles or the Netflix Fireplace channel. Find lights that work for you and that you enjoy.

TEXTURES

Having spaces that are comforting to sink into is probably the next thing to work on. Make sure you have a comfortable chair, squishy couch, bed, or nice cushions to sink into. I am also totally a blanket person. I will never have too many blankets, the softer the better. Make sure you have cozy blankets and soft pillows lying around or easily accessible so that snuggling up is simple. You want to create a space where your body feels calm, relaxed, and safe. I think this is why I find rain and snowstorms always so comforting. I have a bent towards an anxious soul and worried mind. I think there is something in us when we see a storm outside and are safe inside, that we instinctively feel safe. Knowing we are out of the weather brings a sense of safety regardless of everything else in my life and I think that’s maybe one reason why when the weather is crappy I feel most at peace. Keep that in mind as you are creating a physically cozy space around your home. What physically makes you feel safe and at peace?

SMELL

Our sense of smell is one of our most powerful senses. It’s one of the most direct ways to access our emotions and memory through the limbic system. Diffusing essential oils or lighting non-toxic candles are great ways to add comforting smells to your space. You can also bake or cook foods that you love or that remind you of your childhood. Homemade fabric spray, taking a bath or rolling on essential oils that help calm you can be other ways of engaging with your sense of smell.

COMFORT FOOD

Bake or cook all the foods that are your favorite. The warm soup and soft cookies. Anything that makes your belly feel full and your heart feel warm is a good choice. There is something about sharing a meal with someone that brings a warmth of connection. There is a comforting rhythm to food in and of itself, we eat every day, we have set meal times. There are seasonal traditions and rituals when it comes to certain foods and desserts, embrace those! Hot chocolate, snickerdoodles, and pumpkin pie are some of the favorites that I indulge in specifically around the Holidays.

SOUNDS

There are certain sounds that are cozy to me. I love the sound of rain, of bacon sizzling, of fireplaces crackling. Thanks to YouTube you can find hour-long tracks of any sound you could imagine. I have found that I love listening to rain coffee shop playlists where it’s just soft music with rain sounds tapping in the background. Find music or audio material that brings you a cozy vibe and embrace.

If you combine all of these elements you will have the coziest of places to snuggle into. Let me know below if you decide to try any of these ideas.

It’s December and the Holidays can be a source of joy and celebration for so many, but it is also often a season shrouded in heavy and deep pain for others.

As someone who has experienced both loss and depression I know how suffocating this season can be when your heart is shredded.

Being depressed during a season that is supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year” makes you feel like a fish out of water, like you can’t even breathe. Like your bleeding heart has nowhere to rest among all the smiles and parties and gifts and joy. It feels like you have to fake it extra hard during Christmas time. You feel exhausted but also guilty if you skip out on things during the Holidays.

If that’s where you are this year. Just know that I see you. You don’t have to fake anything during this season. It’s alright if you don’t feel like decorating. It’s okay if you can’t muster up the energy to shop for gifts. If Christmas music makes you want to punch a wall and and baking makes you want to pull your hair out, that’s OKAY. Take care of yourself, draw the boundaries you need this year.

Some tips for you if you are walking through Holidays grieving this year:

Let yourself feel everything. Let yourself cry, sleep, be angry, sad, heartbroken. Whatever it is you are feeling don’t try to shove it down, embrace it, journal and let it flow out.

Take time to be alone. There can be a lot going on during the Holidays, so don’t feel bad about turning down some invites and taking time for yourself.

Give yourself something to look forward to each day, even if it’s just something small. If you love Christmas movies plan one to watch each day. Bake cookies, listen to your favorite Christmas music, or decorate if it’s something that brings you joy and life.

Go about your days as normal if Holiday traditions bring more pain then joy this year. Don’t let anyone guilt you into celebrating a season you don’t want to. If you want to walk through December like it was any other month that is OKAY.

Find people to talk to who you can simply process with and who are a safe place for your to grieve with. Find people who can listen and just be with you and who won’t make you pretend to be happy.

Do you have any other tips or advice from your own experience of struggling with depression or walking through grief during the Holidays? Let’s all share in the comments below so we can encourage each other and also help each other walk well with those who are grieving this season.

I agreed to do this Blogmas thing and I am not going to lie, I am incredibly intimidated. I am not sure what every post will be this month but I know I can’t fake words. I know I can’t write generic posts that aren’t real and aren’t what my heart is truly feeling. I think this year has burned away a lot of my ability and even desire to hide anymore. If you know me you know I have a strong bent towards people pleasing and sugar coating everything. Some people say I am too nice. Sometimes I probably am. This year made it kind of hard to pretend I wasn’t a mess so a lot of my masks and hiding have gone away and in its place is just me. The Brittany who is sometimes mean, often overwhelmed, a little bit awkward and who feels small most of the time. Sometimes I feel small in the bad way like when I look at a to-do list taller than me and cry because it feels impossible. A lot of times I feel small in the good way like when I look up at the sky and see how wide it stretches or how vast our mountains are or I think about all the people and how we are all connected in a way and how my life and my story is about so much more than just me.

I gave up a lot of pretending this year and I notice especially now in how calm the Christmas season feels. I think in the past I got so wrapped up in what Christmas was “supposed” to look like and all the things I had to do to keep up the appearance of “truly” getting into the Christmas spirit. This year, there is an element of authenticity around it all and I am really enjoying that. I hope you have realized that too. That it’s okay if Christmas looks different this year. It’s okay to only focus on what brings you joy. It’s okay if everything isn’t “perfect”. If there is one thing this year has taught me it’s that everything doesn’t have to be “perfect” to be good.

This whole change is partly why I agreed to do this Blogmus challenge. Why I agreed to write every day for the next thirty-one days. Because I barely hit “publish” this year and I think a big part of that are all the posts in my draft section that don’t feel “perfect” enough to share. This challenge is meant to break me of that idea. I will be popping on here every day this month to write something. Some days they may be long and some days they may be short and they probably won’t be perfectly punctuated but they will be real. There may be some helpful lists, some poems, but mostly it will probably just be like this, my thoughts about things that have been on my heart lately. A look back on the year as we get ready to move forward into the new one. I hope you’ll come by and that you’ll be encouraged and blessed.

Merry Blogmas!