The curtain has closed on 2014 and the dawn of 2015 has come. It’s a new year which means for many of us, we are filled with hope and determination that THIS year we will finally lose the weight.
I am going to be real here for a few paragraphs: I get you. I was there too. I was a fat blob kid that didn’t want to play tag because I was embarrassed of bouncing when I ran. I was the highschool freshman sitting in the dressing room crying because I felt so ugly in everything I tried on. I’ve been the college girl who stood by and watched friends get married and stood looking in the mirror thinking “what man would ever fall in love with this?” I have had seasons of major food addiction, over exercising, and starving myself. All of it coming from a place of self hatred and wanting to just finally be noticed and loved.
What God showed this crazy girl last January is that He speaks much kinder words to me than I speak to myself. So I decided to change that. I set out at the start of last year, not to lose weight and get healthy but to simply love myself and encourage myself. It has shocked me that even though I am in the same place physically I feel more confidant and happy than I ever did during one of my psycho attempts at perfection.
For those of you on a journey towards embracing your beauty I wanted to share 5 truths I learned last year that you can carry into 2015 as you walk with God in loving yourself, your body, and truly believing that you are beautiful.
- There will always be something we don’t like about our bodies. Love your body anyway.
This was huge for me. I had always thought that if I could just lose weight I would be totally content with myself and feel 100% confidant. However, I learned that once you accomplish one thing another pops up. Our bodies are constantly changing and slowly falling apart. We will get stretch marks, scars, our middles will soften. Things loosen and the landscape of our bodies will lose the sleek firmness of our 20’s. We’ll start shrinking and aching and our ears and noses will keep growing. There will always be something that we wish we could change. So stop wasting time being a hater on yourself and just love all the amazing things about your body.
- Beautiful is who you are not how you look.
Our culture has hammered into us that beauty looks like “THIS”. A lot of campaigns have started trying to counter this by encouraging women that beauty ALSO looks like “THIS”. The truth is that beauty has nothing to do with looks. I’m not going to say how you look doesn’t matter, because in its own way it does. What I am saying is how you look has nothing to do with whether or not you’re beautiful. You are beautiful because the God that bends galaxies breathed you into being.
And you are beautiful.
You are fierce and brave and don’t you ever let your passionate spirit and fiery soul be defined alone by the simplicity of your skin. You are beautiful because it’s who you are. PERIOD.
- Confidence isn’t everyone liking you, it’s being okay if they don’t.
I think sometimes we unconsciously have this idea that confidence is being able to rest in the fact that everyone silently thinks we’re awesome and good looking and funny. I used to think that my confidence was dependent on everyone else. Well guess what? Your confidence depends on one person: YOU. True confidence is knowing who you are, despite what anyone else has to say. You may go through seasons where it feel like no one likes you and that’s alright. No one has to like you, you’re not a facebook status. You’re awesome. Their loss.
- Our steps towards change need to come out of love not hate
Everyone has something they want to change about their body. We have to be honest with ourselves and make sure that the changes we are pursuing in our lives come from a place of love for ourselves, not a place of self hatred.
If you aim to change things based on hatred it is easy to abuse and damage your body because all you care about is the change and getting the results. This is the attitude that can lead to so many unhealthy habits such as starving yourself or exercising until you pass out. The worst part is the emotional damage you inflict upon yourself. Constantly criticizing, comparing, striving, longing, crying, stressing, and trying so, so hard, to just finally make it. Well guess what? You never will. And the broken cycle of self abuse is not what our God wants for us.
When we are pursuing change with God from a place of love, change looks so much different.
You will exercise because it feels good and empowering. You will let out your emotions. You will eat to nurture your body. You will eat to celebrate with friends. You will enjoy making green smoothies and baking cookies. You will eat like the dearly beloved daughter of a King who is free to see food as a gift. Not your friend. Not a Comfort. But also not a villain. Food is good. You will be okay with small steps. You will smile at yourself. You will enjoy dressing up and having great hair days. You will laugh hard and deep when you don’t. You will put on mascara and you will cry it off. You will start caring about how you look while at the same time not caring at all. And you jump at the chance to throw on your ratty jeans and baseball cap if it means getting down in the dirt with the poor and the broken and showing this world the love of Jesus. Because that’s what has breathed life and confidence into you and THAT LOVE, that love is what this world needs.
- Spend less time worrying and more time feeling AWESOME.
At the end of the day, it’s about what you CHOOSE. I decided last year that I was going to spend less time worrying about how I looked and spend more time doing things that made me feel alive. I used to let my weight stop me from enjoying myself and going out and doing things. I was SO self conscious about EVERYTHING.
Girl, life is too short to let something as stupid as acne scars or weight stop you from making memories and enjoying people’s company. This last year I did things I would NEVER have done before. I played tag with my cousins. I bought a pair of ankle boot. I danced, IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. I went to Denny’s at 3:00 in the morning with some of my favorite women even though I looked ghastly. I bought myself a Pea Coat, which I always felt like I couldn’t wear because I was chubby and I finally just decided WHO FREAKING CARES? Not me. So I bought one and I love it. I wear it all the time.
Be reckless, be brave, and embrace life. Don’t let your weight or your face or your height stop you from thriving. Don’t let it stop the laughter or the memories or dictate the desires of your heart.
Girl, it’s a new year. Fresh mercies and hope are in the air and the snow covered ground is like a reminder that each day is a blank canvas for us. ANYTHING is possible. Take this year a day at a time. Learn, grow, and dance without music! Make this year one of loving yourself. God loves us so deeply, it’s about time we fall in love with Him and start loving ourselves too.
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