Britt Maggs

Self-Love Habits

Letting Yourself Rest and the Rhythm of Seasons

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It’s Winter and basically Christmas and the days have grown shorter and in a way, quieter. It’s a time where the trees have let go and will now rest for a season.

The weather and lack of daylight almost forces me to rest as well which is so hard for me. Just like we must sleep each night, our minds and souls need time to rest and reset. Especially in today’s culture where our consumption level is up. Every scroll is like bringing more stuff into your brain and when do we ever get to clear it out? I feel like we have unconsciously become mental hoarders. When do allow yourself time to detox from the internet? When do you let your mind clear? Also, why are we so addicted to the hustle? Nothing in nature blooms and produces all year long, so why do we feel like we have to? Why is it so hard for us to pause, let go, and rest for a little while?

As hard as it is for me, that is one of my goals this winter. I want to stop and sit with myself. I want to embrace all that I am, flaws and wounds, and all. I will not be afraid of the silence or my own thoughts. I want to spend time at the feet of My Father and be reminded of who I am and of how loved I am here and now as I am. I don’t want to get so caught up in surviving and striving that I miss the beauty of every single day. I think back to little girl Brittany who was outside most days. I would watch squirrels and listen to the trees and read about animals and dream up stories and have conversations with made-up people and write and write about all that I saw and imagined.  As a little girl, I thought there was so much beauty in the world and I realized a few years ago THERE STILL IS.

The days have not stopped being magical just because I stopped noticing. 2020 has been an interesting year for all of us but one of many takeaways is that our heart’s posture has a lot more to do with how we experience the world than our environment. I read a lot of books over quarantine. Books about women and children and characters who created beauty and magic in the worst and loneliest of places. Prison, concentration camps, divorce, infertility, a strange country, jobless, and extremely busy. The world waits for no one and time is flying by whether we like it or not.

Life is so short. I want to look back on my 20’s like I look back on my childhood. I want to smile when I think about these years. I don’t want my days to be filled with stress and anxiety and to-do lists and chores and worry. I want laughter and delicious food and bubble baths and the way Autumn smells and the taste of Mexican hot chocolate. I want Christmas lights downtown and starry mountain skies. I want songs blasted loud on long drives and long kisses and dancing while doing dishes and phone calls with friends and funny tik toks and selfies. I want parties and memories and friends holding hands as we walk and laugh maybe a little tipsy or just tired, it’s hard to tell which. I also want to pretend. I also want to create. What happened to those days when you would just wake up and you didn’t have a strong awareness of your body or how you looked and you just lived? Back when we all sang at the top of our lungs and didn’t worry about whether we were “good” at singing. When we all drew pictures and thought THEY were the dumb ones if they couldn’t see that it was CLEARLY a turtle. When did we start doubting ourselves? When did we start worrying so much about what people think? When did naptime become a luxury and not a daily ritual? When did we think that our life was a result of everything we could do instead of who we wanted to BE?

One thing I realized over this quarantine is that I’ve grown up a lot in the last five years but I have also realized that I am still so so very young. Life is still so beautiful and there is still so much ahead. I want to rest more, not for the sake of resting but for the sake of soaking in this life I’ve been given. I love Christmas and this will be the first Christmas with my husband. I want to enjoy every tiny memory and detail. The trees have let their leaves go so I am letting go of things too. I am not cleaning as crazy as usual and working out has taken a little bit of a backseat for the sake of writing and reading more. At first, I was beating myself up for not being able to do it all but now I know that that is just the rhythms of seasons. Nothing in nature produces year-round and I don’t have to either. I hope you give yourself that permission as well. 

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On Creating a Cozy Space During the Holidays

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I am someone who loves Winter, the cold, and Christmas. I love cloudy cold weather, not because I like the ACTUAL feeling of freezing but because I LOVE getting to be cozy (and that just doesn’t happen in the happy summer sunshine in the same way). So below is my guide to getting cozy this winter, even if you don’t live in a snowy place, there are so universal truths to creating a cozy and warm place.

LIGHTING

I feel like this is the most important element when it comes to creating a cozy vibe in your home. You need a mixture of lighting so that you can turn things to a yellow/warm tone when evening hits or on a dark snowy day. I also advise having twinkle lights of some sort in every room ALL year long. Christmas is especially nice because the tree has lights as well but there is something so comforting, pretty, and cozy about having a glow from tiny little lights. I have icicle lights hanging in our living room, twinkle lights in our bedroom, and we got little solar-powered jars with twinkle lights in them that we leave all around the house in the evening. All of that in addition to our gamer LED lights. I also think flames specifically add a nice element whether that’s candles or the Netflix Fireplace channel. Find lights that work for you and that you enjoy.

TEXTURES

Having spaces that are comforting to sink into is probably the next thing to work on. Make sure you have a comfortable chair, squishy couch, bed, or nice cushions to sink into. I am also totally a blanket person. I will never have too many blankets, the softer the better. Make sure you have cozy blankets and soft pillows lying around or easily accessible so that snuggling up is simple. You want to create a space where your body feels calm, relaxed, and safe. I think this is why I find rain and snowstorms always so comforting. I have a bent towards an anxious soul and worried mind. I think there is something in us when we see a storm outside and are safe inside, that we instinctively feel safe. Knowing we are out of the weather brings a sense of safety regardless of everything else in my life and I think that’s maybe one reason why when the weather is crappy I feel most at peace. Keep that in mind as you are creating a physically cozy space around your home. What physically makes you feel safe and at peace?

SMELL

Our sense of smell is one of our most powerful senses. It’s one of the most direct ways to access our emotions and memory through the limbic system. Diffusing essential oils or lighting non-toxic candles are great ways to add comforting smells to your space. You can also bake or cook foods that you love or that remind you of your childhood. Homemade fabric spray, taking a bath or rolling on essential oils that help calm you can be other ways of engaging with your sense of smell.

COMFORT FOOD

Bake or cook all the foods that are your favorite. The warm soup and soft cookies. Anything that makes your belly feel full and your heart feel warm is a good choice. There is something about sharing a meal with someone that brings a warmth of connection. There is a comforting rhythm to food in and of itself, we eat every day, we have set meal times. There are seasonal traditions and rituals when it comes to certain foods and desserts, embrace those! Hot chocolate, snickerdoodles, and pumpkin pie are some of the favorites that I indulge in specifically around the Holidays.

SOUNDS

There are certain sounds that are cozy to me. I love the sound of rain, of bacon sizzling, of fireplaces crackling. Thanks to YouTube you can find hour-long tracks of any sound you could imagine. I have found that I love listening to rain coffee shop playlists where it’s just soft music with rain sounds tapping in the background. Find music or audio material that brings you a cozy vibe and embrace.

If you combine all of these elements you will have the coziest of places to snuggle into. Let me know below if you decide to try any of these ideas.


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On Grieving During the Holidays

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It’s December and the Holidays can be a source of joy and celebration for so many, but it is also often a season shrouded in heavy and deep pain for others.

As someone who has experienced both loss and depression I know how suffocating this season can be when your heart is shredded.

Being depressed during a season that is supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year” makes you feel like a fish out of water, like you can’t even breathe. Like your bleeding heart has nowhere to rest among all the smiles and parties and gifts and joy. It feels like you have to fake it extra hard during Christmas time. You feel exhausted but also guilty if you skip out on things during the Holidays.

If that’s where you are this year. Just know that I see you. You don’t have to fake anything during this season. It’s alright if you don’t feel like decorating. It’s okay if you can’t muster up the energy to shop for gifts. If Christmas music makes you want to punch a wall and and baking makes you want to pull your hair out, that’s OKAY. Take care of yourself, draw the boundaries you need this year.

Some tips for you if you are walking through Holidays grieving this year:

Let yourself feel everything. Let yourself cry, sleep, be angry, sad, heartbroken. Whatever it is you are feeling don’t try to shove it down, embrace it, journal and let it flow out.

Take time to be alone. There can be a lot going on during the Holidays, so don’t feel bad about turning down some invites and taking time for yourself.

Give yourself something to look forward to each day, even if it’s just something small. If you love Christmas movies plan one to watch each day. Bake cookies, listen to your favorite Christmas music, or decorate if it’s something that brings you joy and life.

Go about your days as normal if Holiday traditions bring more pain then joy this year. Don’t let anyone guilt you into celebrating a season you don’t want to. If you want to walk through December like it was any other month that is OKAY.

Find people to talk to who you can simply process with and who are a safe place for your to grieve with. Find people who can listen and just be with you and who won’t make you pretend to be happy.

Do you have any other tips or advice from your own experience of struggling with depression or walking through grief during the Holidays? Let’s all share in the comments below so we can encourage each other and also help each other walk well with those who are grieving this season.

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