self esteem

Dear Busy Boss Queen,

I see you. Constantly striving and competing for your spot in this world. Your life is a collage of late nights, errands, receipts, driving, phone calls, empty coffee cups, and an even emptier heart.

It is easy to get addicted to approval, to performing. You are so focused on cutting out toxic relationships but sometimes the most toxic woman in your life is the one you’re pretending to be. The one you feel you SHOULD be. The woman who never breaks down and is always the “Yes” woman. The one who will work overtime and complete the project perfectly. The one who isn’t afraid and doesn’t have limits and isn’t sensitive or high maintenance. Who never gets lonely. Who is always “fine”.

You have placed all your value in high performance and in your accomplishments. But you darling, are so much more than what you bring you to the table. The parts of you that are valuable are not just the parts that are productive. Your worth does not solely lie in the qualities that help you accomplish more than everyone else.

You are organized, passionate, driven, self-motivated, a quick learner, a good listener, a leader. You are a lot of things and these things are good but they are not all of you and they don’t define your worth.

You are worthy, just by BEING you.

I think it’s important to acknowledge and love the parts of your heart that you may have forgotten, the parts that no one claps for. There is so much beauty in you that serves no real purpose but just IS. The way you like smelling coffee even though you hate drinking it. That raised eyebrow you get when you know you’re right and people are being dumb. How you go out of your away to crunch through piles of leaves and drive through puddles on the side of the road just to feel that splash. How you eat tacos from the top down instead of sideways. Your love for pumpkin flavor and overalls.

Your love affair with rain and bookstores will never get you a promotion. No one will tell you “good job” for your genius discovery of french fries and ice cream but all of these things are still beautiful parts of you. Please don’t forget that you are so beautiful in a million weird and quirky ways. Ways that won’t make money. Ways that make you human and imperfect. Ways that make you distinctly you and you are loved for them.

When it comes to our appearance we can get so stuck on the little thing about ourselves. Our nose, our hair, a pimple.

We center our attention around the little things that make us feel ugly or insecure.

Why don’t we instead focus on the little things that make us feel good and beautiful?

What are the little things that you like about yourself?

I started making this list for myself and I was surprised to see how many things started appearing on it

THINGS ABOUT ME THAT I LOVE

my hazel eyes
my smile
my little cheek dimple
my rosy cheeks
my perfectly sized ears
my eye brows (even the crazy left one)
my luscious thick hair
The way my laugh sounds when something catches me off guard as hilarious
my singing voice
my tiny little fingers and toes
my height

and a variety of other things that shift and change throughout the days. Some mornings I will like how my nails turned out or the way my outfit looks. I have begun the habit of calling out the obvious and the subtle beauty I see in myself instead of the imperfections. Because most mornings I forget.

I forget how beautiful my eyes look with sunlight sparkling through them.

I forget that I truly do love my rosy cheeks and my smile. I forget that my face really isn’t that bad and that there are beautiful parts of me despite my weight.

It’s also good to remember that your entire being is not defined by a small single “flawed” piece of your body.

Cake is made of baking powder, vanilla and a handful of other ingredients which are pretty gross on their own but once they are mixed together in just the right way, they come out being pretty dang delicious.

That’s what we are, our own bag of cake. We are each a unique and perfect mixture of straight deliciousness. And we can’t get caught up in each little thing because it’s not about every individual piece of us being perfect, it’s about knowing and reminding ourselves that all the beautiful, weird, and quirky pieces of us are mixed together JUST RIGHT to make us who we are.

Remember that.

Love the Parts of Yourself No One Claps For

You’re a Special Bag of Cake

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